Earlier today, I had a meaningful chat with a friend and batch mate from college about our lives in general. We are both shooting for similar goals but on different routes and seasons. I’m finally looking into graduate school, she is aiming for an awesome post in her dream city and hopefully settle there in the future.
When I was 18, I had a clear vision of things I wish to achieve: graduate with honors, find a good corporate job, find a suitable man, settle down at 25, have kids at 27.
Now that I am 32, most of those plans didn’t happen at all. Maybe except I’ve been in the honor’s list until thesis happened so it doesn’t carry so much weight.
One day I’m motivated to finish the layout for my consultancy, the next day I’m slacking off trying to marathon the latest K-drama, bawling until my eyes look like a panda. Day 3, I just stare at the horizon, thinking about my wrongdoings in the past, as much as I hate doing it.
By the standards of the society I’m in, I should have at least landed a six-digit paying job, married with kids,
The thing is, while we always say that we have a lifetime for each and every season, there’s always the part in me where I get impatient when my spring time will come. There’s this hunger I try to satiate by taking in other routes, when deep inside, I’ve always known what I wanted in the first place.
We put ourselves out there to take risks, be vulnerable, get hurt, learn our lesson.
I guess it’s safe to say that at this rate, while I barely have any idea where I’m headed to, I know in my heart that my compass is still pointed towards my north, no matter how long or how difficult the path would be. I just have to trust the process God has laid out for me.
And maybe by then, all the flowers are in full bloom.